Archive for November, 2010


THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN…..


Yeah it’s that time of the year again. Actually yeah I doubt we have ever seen this kind of situation before. Yeah cross makers are burning the midnight oil while they try to fulfill the demand for ministers who want to carry them. Yes it’s the festive season when Kenyans go crazy as they march to either call for the sacking of ministers or in support of others who are ‘obviously’ being sought due to their ethnic background. It is the era where witch hunts are not just limited to the land of the Abagussi.

Parliament’s turned into a veritable reality show where you watch and laugh at the land of alliances and back-stabbing.  Cabinet has an uncanny resemblance to the Survivor’s ‘Tribal Council.’ I can’t count the number of times in which I have imagined that host walk up to a minister. Cue the crazy shifty eyes as each minister looks around trying to figure out their fate. And those immortal words as he smothers the flame the minister bears. The tribe has spoken. I’m thinking Jimmy Gathu can reprise his ‘epukana na ukimwi’ role with a more scary political one where he stares at the political class and in the same scary tone goes ‘Waziri epukana na story za wazimu’. Continue reading

WHAT IF? KENYAN HELL!


People keep talking about their own personal hells. Little things in their lives that drive them batty. Those noisy neighbours, annoying little brothers(oh if you only knew) and jams make the list. But then I started thinking. What if hell was also based on country? What if we went to hell as per nationality? What then would the Kenyan version of hell look like? Here’s my take.(of course you wanna know)

So I know you’re expecting fire and brimstone but of course that’s not the case. Kenyans aren’t exactly known for conforming. In keeping with our current crises someone will have messed with all the sulphur and so the fierce heat that hell is known for will be reduced to a toasty warmth. In keeping with tradition, some big cats in hell will have taken up all the prime sulphur fields and settled their people thus holding everyone else hostage.

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